Today sucks. It's Friday, I'm still kinda sick, and I'm stuck at work with nothing to do but think about all of the people I would love to pummel to death with a pillow of jagged rocks. By no means am I a violent man, but you gotta admit, sometimes people drive you to the brink of ear bleeding.

The following is a list of these very douchewranglers:

Jon Gosselin

Rick D'Amico

Governor Jan Brewer

Francis Buxton

Gay Fish

Mumra

Glenn Beck

Lady Ca Ca

Luke Skywalker

Russell Brand

King Hippo

Kirstie Alley

Tokio Hotel

Orko

Megan Fox

Tom DeLay

Kate Gosselin

Spencer Pratt

Dimitri Rascalov

Michael Lohan

Sarah Palin

Criss Angel

I'm still adding to this list. It grows daily.